Destiny and Eyes wide opened!

I like Snow Patrol music. I know it is not because of me, but almost all the songs I have heard from them describe my sad and now strict and straight reality. I have opened my eyes, WIDE OPENED.
It's like the song I sang in his face the last time. "Did you open your eyes? Tell me, did you open your eyes?"

He seemed to have opened them for one or two days (that depends of the size of his decievement and lies), but it does not matter right now, because my mind is clear now. Really clear. Excepcionally clear.

I feel kind of proud of myself, because now I just think that it should happen the way God decides it to be. It will be ok for me, the decision that he makes.

Now I think that everybody should think that way. Many people have told me to be more critical, more logical, more corcerned about myself, my actions, the people that really care about me. The ones that really think I am valuable, and that if I die in any moment, maybe it would be a terrible fact to happen.

Now otosa is going to "hot land" -like López used to say in Colombian English-, I hope he can get a nice opportunity, the way he dreamed it his whole life.

I do, I wish him the best. I know it is difficult for Okasa to accept it, and let him go to a better place (if the opportunity comes out), but sometimes we have to make sacrifices for the ones we love to be happy.

I hope the best happens. Oh yeah!

The box of chocolates opened!

Its completely true, and God is right. He has been giving me the signs so I cannot continue with this bullshit.
The toy is broken right now. It is over. REALLY over. Although my angel is doing everything to help me, I think it is a God's sign. Yes it is.
Yesterday I though the same while Kairi was talking to me with her mexican-like accent.
Yes, I have a very special place. Yes, I am a VERY valuable woman.
Sometimes it makes ma happy, because I can fell strong in a way or another. But sometimes makes me feel really bad and sad, because I realised it too late, after all I have done.

I have to admit that the witch won. But, maybe it is a sign that something better is waiting for me outside this cage, a cage made from feelings of anger, sadness and a the small love that remains there.

Yes, you just have to wait to love someone when that someone just slaps you in the face with horrible words. I just realised it now, and it is very funny. Because I had to suffer a lot to realise this. And the suffering will end on friday I hope. But just the suffering about me, and noone else.

If she's afraid of God, then there must be something very tricky, or very bad. I hope I can just laugh at this whole situation later on. Meanwhile, I'll try not to die fighting for it, or feeling horrible things.

Esta mañana experimenté lo agotador que es un viaje en bus en esta empañada y húmeda ciudad. ya lo he hecho dos veces, y me esperan dos viajes más.
Cuando me subí la primera vez, pensé que iba a estar mínimo una hora en ese cebollero, pero resulta que hoy todos los conductores acordaron que no iban a sacar los carros, por lo cual me demoré menos de 30 minutos y llegué MUY temprano...
Pero en el segundo viaje me sentí como Jackie Chan en "viaje al mundo en 80 días", o como Rose Dawson esperando a que el Carpathia apareciera ante la luz del sol. ETERNO!

Pero lo importante es que los viajes en bus no se grabarán en mi disco duro de células y glóbulos rojos, así como el frío que tengo en este momento.

Nee Loneliness...

Me gusta comer en frente del computador. Sé que no es un buen hábito, pero es una de las pequeñas acciones que disfruto mientras estoy sola y con mi gordita.

Los fireworks para celebrar mi día indudablemente fueron espectaculares. En ese momento me sentí como Nana en el séptimo piso, con todos sus allegados celebrando algo que al final no se logró.

Aunque yo no podría decir la oración "Nee Nana", ni siquiera "Nee Kirara". Pero sí, la celebraci{on del maestro llega al punto de mis "sandwiches" en el computador y la biblioteca de mi disco duro.

Nee Loneliness...

Me gusta comer en frente del computador. Sé que no es un buen hábito, pero es una de las pequeñas acciones que disfruto mientras estoy sola y con mi gordita.
Los fireworks para celebrar mi día indudablemente fueron espectaculares. En ese momento me sentí como Nana en el séptimo piso, con todos sus allegados celebrando algo que al final no se logró.

Aunque yo no podría decir la oración "Nee Nana", ni siquiera "Nee Kirara". Pero sí, la celebraci{on del maestro llega al punto de mis "sandwiches" en el computador y la biblioteca de mi disco duro.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsTT4TKQ8es&feature=related

Pesadillas vienen y van. Muchos ojos observándome vienen y van. Rostros en blanco y negro rondan por mi cabeza y mi ideal de belleza para mi propio espacio.
Aveces siento que debo estar en blanco y negro.
Seria lo mejor para que no fuera detectada para fines no muy buenos.

Time is running out

Yes, it is true, it is now 1.22 and I am not slepy as my neigbour.

Time it is running out, hope everythng s doing ok for him right now.

I care, I really do. I dont want everyhting will be out of control, I wont give up while my capacity can make something.

DONT SURRENDER MY ANGEL! COS I WONT TILL I CAN!

You know whats funny? 
I have just read all my texts in this blog. There was an occassion I said I was Beatrice, but I never thought I was REALLY gonna be in the place of Beatrice.
The only difference is that in my story, there isn`t any Dante. 

And is not that I dont like Dante, or want to put someone else in his place, like ugly Constantine. (lol)           
                                       Come on! Go ahead! Zoom it! Youll get Keanu's    hug!

Umm.. it is just that THERE IS NO prince, or king, or lover, or sailor...
It is just me and me in hell, in the seventh circle of it, fighting for my life, my existence and all my efforts. And someone that seemed and angel is a devil. 


But this war is not over yet, only my writings will describe what is the end of it. Just hope my love ones are not harm, because and this will sound hard, but I wont allow someone to hurt them, cos I would kill the witch. 

Winter Insomnia

Winter sleep. It is what I am listening to right now. I can remember one part of the song, that looks like a part of my life now.
Along with rain, cold, sadness, comes evil.
That is the part I still can`t understand. Why? Why? Why is this still happening?




Is there anyone that can answer my question along with this sad and lonely song?
Is it that winter comes along (besides fake snow here in my city) with it?
How much pain can envy and crazyness cause?




Is there a way out?
Is there someone that can save me? Or it?




Can I stll hope my life is going to be ok without being afraid of losing everything like I did some time ago?




Is this suffering gonna dissapear?
Is happiness and love around me gonna touch me too? Or slap me? Or squeze my frozen heart?




Or broken?
Or dusty?
Is there a heart?
Or a soul?




Yesterday I was so faithful, praying for all misteries that God gives us: Faith, strentgh, pain, and many others that can make you someone strong.




Ive had them, I swear. But, as I read in a webpage, they dont seem to be enough for all the harm that some bitch wanna make you.




WILL someday be enough? Does satisfaction exist for the witch? Or the angel? Can my angel help me? Will I die because of the witch?




Because my angel will not always be there, by my side, listening to me, and telling me that he is my friend, that he listens to everything I say, including my fears, sadness, anger and suffering I feel.




Please, help my angel save me from the witches claws. I made all I could today, looking at people who (I think) were respected and loved.
Yes, two widowed and a politician.
But that is another story that Ill write, hopefully if I survive and do not die between hate, anger and, on top of all, Crazyness and obsession.